Still so tender and so raw and so vulnerable. A few steps forward, and then a step back. Hurting. Falling. Just keep breathing…
I woke up this morning remembering a dream. I can’t usually recall them. I was driving down a road at night and suddenly everything became hazy. I couldn’t see. My instinct was to go right and crash into the bushes. Oh no… I thought… another dent in my car (I have several).
I veered right and felt the bushes cushion my blow as I came to rest there. The place was familiar to me although I couldn’t tell you exactly where I was. My gut says Long Beach, my beloved Long Beach. The tears are rolling now as I write this, so yes, it was probably Long Beach.
I realized when the car stopped that I couldn’t see because for some reason I wasn’t wearing my glasses. I reached down on the floor and I found them. And voila, once again I could see the road.
And perhaps the universe was sending me a message for today. As an artist, a friend, a mother, a lover, you can’t always see the road, but you will be ok. Just keep going.
Happy Monday, fellow travelers. Trust that you, too, will find the road.
And don’t forget you can read about my own earthly travels at artbylindaqueally.blogspot.com.
As Artists, what do we require most to create? Peace. Quiet. Reflection. Meditation. Time alone. Sanctuary. And of course, Swimming!!! Well, I am a Mermaid after all.
I’ve been given that gift, and it has saved me. After whirling about in a tornado for quite some time now, the peace soaks into my skin like rain.
I’m not sure yet how I can repay the Universe for such a gift, but I’m hoping it will be by my sheer love and passion for what I do, by the beauty I can bring into another person’s life by my work, and by inspiring others to learn to love and understand all parts of themselves, the good, the bad and the ugly. And most importantly, by not giving up.
As I sort things out, the work pours out of me. I have my seventh Mermaid painting in progress, aptly named “Joy”, the actual name of my model:
I have my second original centerpiece design in my line of Mermaid jewelry getting ready for casting:
and I am working on a line of simple pearl jewelry, including bracelets which are just getting put up on Etsy.
You can view my Etsy Shop here.
And just this week I’ve begun to work with the SBA/Score to learn how to fund and grow my business.
So to my angels, of whom I have quite a few (and yes, you know who you are)… those who have given me peace, sanctuary, the ability to safely express myself, a place to sell my work as I transition, help getting the materials I need, this is for you.
THANK YOU… from the bottom of my heart. I feel the love and send it right back at you.
And for those of you who are new to me, you can also read my travel adventures by visiting artbylindaqueally.blogspot.com
Thanks for following!
You know the ones. The ones that pop up and say “Danger, Will Robinson”. WAVE, WAVE, WAVE. Oh, sure, you probably notice them. Maybe you even ask your friends and family for advice. And they unanimously yell RUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
But you think, “Oh, if I just communicate my needs, everything will be fine.”
NO. NO. NO. This is not so.
Once again a person entered my life waving a big red flag. This time in business.
She fooled me once. Shame on her.
She fooled me twice. Shame on me.
There will not be a third time. My friends warned me, and I didn’t listen. It was kind of an expensive lesson. The universe was testing me. But I am learning to obey the flag sooner now. Only two weeks in. Enormous progress for me. At the age of sixty, I am finally learning to identify what is good for me, and what is not.
This is enormous progress.
Between Love and Hate. Between Sanity and Insanity…
It’s a short step.
I watched the sunset over my beloved Long Beach this week with the man I have loved for nearly eight years. We reminisced about the many things we have done. The many places we have gone together. The work we have created together. And we reflected on the things we have done wrong. We took note of how undeniably human we are. Of our ability to hurt each other and ourselves. We recognized our capacity for love and forgiveness. And we realized that this is a time for working on ourselves. Our individual hopes and dreams.
We said goodbye to this place and this chapter.
I am filled with sadness. And I am filled with hope. So for today, like a life raft, I will cling to hope.